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Expert Advice

If you want to ask your question to the specialists of the society “Shelter “Safe House””, call (+371) 67898343, (+371) 28612120 or write e-mail: drosa.maja@gmail.com!

- Why did it happen exactly to me?

Girls and women caught in the meshes of recruiters often feel that the actions of recruiters are directed solely against them and they have been chosen due to being naive or experiencing difficulties. In reality, recruiters expand their activity as much as possible in order to encompass as many potential victims as possible. It is certified by searches in social networks and offers from newly-met persons and acquaintances of acquaintances.

! Specialist’s advice: It is not your fault, nor something about you that the recruiter has found exactly you. 

- Why did I “fall” so easily?

Arguments of recruiters are based on basic needs of people - the need for everyday subsistence, safety, affiliation, respect. Therefore, the offer which includes satisfaction of such needs becomes so important that the assessment of risks is no longer possible. Job or earnings offer is important in case of poverty. An opportunity to help family is important as well. Possibly, there were some complications or problems in life and moving to a different country seemed to be the salvation. The desire for a good family and a loving and caring husband seems to be tempting for a girl who has suffered violence. Those are the simplest reasons. There are also - travel offers, study offers, friendship offers... In conversation with you, your crucial needs and most important desires are found out, in order to achieve that you no longer think and do not assess risks.

! Specialist’s advice: Any girl or woman/ any young man or man can become a victim!

- How can I recognize recruiters?

Recruiters know that their activity is illegal. If they openly offer fictitious marriage with a third-country citizen, they are, thus, trying to provide a EU residence permit to a person who does not have the right to it. If they are trying to achieve entering into fictitious marriage by using fraud, blackmail or enforcement, such activity is qualified as human trafficking and is a criminal offence.

! Specialist’s advice: The recruiter will usually try not to allow you to talk openly about the offer with the specialist who can assess the offer (a social worker, a lawyer, a specialist of “Shelter “Safe House””) or to ask for advice. You might be asked to keep the offer a secret or to offer to some friend who might go. Be careful, if the recruiter uses contradictory arguments simultaneously (e.g., “it is safe and legal” and “do not tell anyone”, “a lot of people do so, a lot of people are offered” and “such a good offer must be used fast”). The recruiter might provide information on the offer or himself by telling just a part of the truth or not answering some of the questions (saying “you do not need to know that”).

- How can I forget what happened?

Things that happened just as any violence, betrayal or deception experienced will not be forgotten. You might be pursued by memories or nightmares, you might feel panic or hatred, you might be scared to start something new or feel suspicious in relations with people. Help and support provided by friends and relatives might help to overcome what has happened easier and to accept this experience. Yet, such events related to fictitious marriage or threats not always end with return home. You might be pursued by the things you have suffered or the fear that they might repeat. If heavy violence or distress has been experienced, healing of psychological traumas will require psychologist’s help. Whereas, in order to restore everyday life and put it into order, the help of a social worker and a lawyer will be necessary.

! Specialist’s advice: In order to create healthy and successful life after the events suffered, it is important to ask for and accept help, not to isolate from life and to be active. 

- Can I receive free psychological assistance at “Shelter “Safe House”” and for how long?

! Specialist’s advice: You can receive free psychological and other necessary assistance within the framework of the rehabilitation program funded by the state for 6 months. In each specific case, the specialists and the victims will assess what kind of help is required and how long it is required. 

- If assistance is necessary for my parents, because they felt it keenly, is it possible to provide this assistance to them as well?

! Specialist’s advice: Rehabilitation program does not include any assistance specifically for parents or other close relatives; however, you can come to the psychologist or other specialist TOGETHER with those people who, in your opinion, require assistance, in order for them to be able to tell about their sufferings and to get an advice for further actions. 

Answers to the most frequently asked questions have been provided by the specialist of the society “Shelter “Safe House””, Inta Poudžiunas.